How to be optimistic when you feel negative feelings are dominating your thoughts?

The moment an individual faces life's challenges they might seem to be happy, broken or shocked or appearing in a complex situation having mixed feelings,but what most us fail to acknowledge is that all those things are physical traits but not psychological.Thus most of us thinks dealing with the person on the surface level based on their external characteristics could make a difference as that might have an impact on his psychological state of mind.That might not always work as it is hard to perceive his experiences that is making the individual feel so at the very moment.
Thoughts generate from experiences be it good or bad which is derived from books,daily life,thoughts or aphorisms which partly shapes our belief systems.
Ethics doesn't always apply in a similar manner to individuals in certain situations.

Then what could be done to change the individual's perspective?

Firstly we should acknowledge the fact that whatever we think or do might not be fruitful the way we want it to be for a different individual. Using reverse psychology might not always work in a good way in these situations.
To perceive a certain situation we first need to draw an outline of what the person is thinking & what sort of experiences is the individual dealing with that is making him feel that way.

Have you ever heard people more often often up to people who are close to them than to strangers?

Now you should know that is because they seem for the moment to know certain aspects of the person's life,but in reality that doesn't matter. What they do at the moment is that they develop a deep connection with the individual in order to have a glimpse of our experiences we are dealing with at the moment & winning their trust.Trust is something we face every single day while boarding a bus or train we have to trust the driver,for buying a loaf of bread we have to trust the shop owner but the question to ask here is:

"Who do we trust more?" 

The only answer is the person who makes us feel more secure or protected at times when we need to feel so by generating a sense of comfort or support with the help of an individual.
We tend to open up to these individuals about to our experiences who in turn tries to give a positive feedback on our ideas.Now the real deal here is how you view the situation,so this is emotionally intelligent people do they try to calculate that very situation with a broader prospective.Now remember this is the same individual who is having the very experience so to acknowledge that he needs some tools be it a pen & paper,recorder or anything that could help him view himself as another individual.

Why does this work best?

As we generally tend to be more aware of our experiences & feelings than any other individuals in the entire world.We could reevaluate our state our mind time & again by understanding what sort of experience life is giving us & how we could benefit from that in order to make a difference in the near future. As I feel we could decide on what is best for us if we know how to self-evaluate by re-evaluating our current state of mind.

If anyone has read about the time when Thomas Edison’s factory burned to the ground in 1914, destroying one-of-a-kind prototypes and causing $23 million in damage, Edison’s response was simple:

"Thank goodness all our mistakes were burned up. Now we can start fresh again."

Edison’s reaction is the epitome of mental toughness—seeing opportunity and taking action when things look bleak.

Now although might look hard to think that way in certain situation but we nobody was born perfect & in order to attain that level of perfection we can always train our mind to think that way by the process of self-evaluation as I mentioned earlier.

What accessories does one need to achieve that?

A keen desire for self-improvement!

Cultivating confidence,cutting out toxic people,saying "No"when the situation demands it,acknowledging the fact that fear is just a state of mind & one can easily overcome it,embracing failure as I had mentioned earlier but knows how to benefit from it rather than beating themselves up,being flexible in their decisions,keeping their judgement to themselves-I feel that the quality of judgement is a part of the human trait & could be very useful if you know how to benefit from it,taking care of their health with proper diet & exercises,they lead a disciplined life-getting 7 or 8 hours of sleep & dealing with their addictions be it caffeine intake,porn or something else.

Being positive isn't hard it all comes down to changing your perspective in light of the situation & if you have spent a single moment without having think that life is coming to an end then you  do deserve to lead a better life. Decode your emotions & embrace yourself today! 

I wish to end with the lines from one of my favorite poet that might be of help people in difficult times:

"It matters not how strait the gate, 

      How charged with punishments the scroll, 

I am the master of my fate, 

      I am the captain of my soul. "

                 WILLIAM ERNEST HENLEY

Rudra SEN                                                        

15.07.16