Why do we need our feelings to be reciprocated?

-The science behind generating true love & altruistic acts.

Well I feel you can if you really want to & nothing could stop you once you accomplish complete self-realization(which would include becoming self-less too)

True love doesn’t need to boundaries or conditions.

I don’t think someone needs to love someone back in order to justify one of their love as true.

It is human tendency to remain bounded to the reward system of the brain.

The reward system is a group of neural structures responsible for incentive salience (i.e., "wanting" or desire), pleasure (i.e., "liking" or hedonic value), and positive reinforcement. Reward is the attractive and motivational property of a stimulus that induces appetitive behavior – also known as approach behavior – and consummatory behavior.

If you recall about all those things which you like doing, uses this very system.

If you heal a good song basically it is activating dopamine in your system which in turn is inducing a feeling of happiness within you which is the reward,now when you feel happy once hearing it-you wish to hear it again in order to get the reward again.Quite similar in this case.If someone is trying to say true love which basically means to fully understand another person’s suffering,be it physical or psycho-emotional or spiritual.Now the brain doesn’t understand any of these. It is focused on it’s own appetite. When you feel loved that induces a feeling of pleasure or self satisfaction in some form.

Love is a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection (e.g:"I love my mother") to pleasure (e.g.:"I loved that meal"). It can refer to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment. It can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection—"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". It may also describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals.

Now if you closely observe each case- there is this reward system going on & the true love is not dependent on how others affect you but how on the very intense effect you have on yourself!How?Have you heard about crushes people have on others?The lovers perhaps don’t even get any sort of attention from their partners but feeds on the pleasure that is brought to them from the thoughts that generate from their own self!In case of true love the person justifying their actions or thoughts as true love is basically implying the amount of pleasure or satisfaction brought to them from themselves(e.g-”It was true love” or “I truly loved her”) or from others(“He/She truly loved me”) & when both says that it was true love for them -it would be because it induced the same sense of pleasure in both of them,provided they are not pretending.

Sources used-Wikipedia

                                                                                                                                       RUDRA SEN                                                                                                                                                15.07.16

How to be in charge of your emotions?

I feel what it means is to be in control.

It is basically referring to the act of being conscious. Most people are a slave to their desires.

How do people do it?

Through self discipline which could be achieved through some form of yoga

Yoga doesn’t always necessarily mean meditation.

What is Yoga?

Yoga is an ancient art based on a harmonizing system of development for the body, mind, and spirit. The continued practice of yoga will lead you to a sense of peace and well-being, and also a feeling of being at one with their environment. This is a simple definition.

This could be achieved in a variety of ways travelling,music like playing & mastering an instrument,gaining knowledge or even through observing the world around us.

It is basically referring to self development.

When someone is doing that it he/she is subconsciously training her mind to be in control.

Just take a middle school er for an example who is crying to get an ice-cream although he has a bad cold.He goes to the minivan & manages to buy one from the guy.Knowing the consequence of the action. Now as he grows up & manages to get a part time job he wishes to try drugs knowing what sort of effect that could have on him. Guess what?he might give it a try & get addicted. This whole thing could have been avoided just if he could be conscious of his actions by not giving in to his desires.

Dealing with Desires:

Desire is what separates a thief from a guy who labors day in & out just to get a loaf of bread in the evening.Controlling your desires is one of the important stepping stone to success.

Desires are a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.Take an owner of a company who fires one of his best employee after a month just because he had left before could be judged as an act of low self control.The guy gives in to his desire of proving his self worth rather than focusing on improving the business.

Coming to emotions well I feel it is used here as a figure of speech. Emotions are regulated by our brain to serve as in a variety of ways like love or lust is the emotion generated for continuing the process of reproduction while fear is used to flee from a situation-stress gets our jobs done.

How to be optimistic when you feel negative feelings are dominating your thoughts?

The moment an individual faces life's challenges they might seem to be happy, broken or shocked or appearing in a complex situation having mixed feelings,but what most us fail to acknowledge is that all those things are physical traits but not psychological.Thus most of us thinks dealing with the person on the surface level based on their external characteristics could make a difference as that might have an impact on his psychological state of mind.That might not always work as it is hard to perceive his experiences that is making the individual feel so at the very moment.
Thoughts generate from experiences be it good or bad which is derived from books,daily life,thoughts or aphorisms which partly shapes our belief systems.
Ethics doesn't always apply in a similar manner to individuals in certain situations.

Then what could be done to change the individual's perspective?

Firstly we should acknowledge the fact that whatever we think or do might not be fruitful the way we want it to be for a different individual. Using reverse psychology might not always work in a good way in these situations.
To perceive a certain situation we first need to draw an outline of what the person is thinking & what sort of experiences is the individual dealing with that is making him feel that way.

Have you ever heard people more often often up to people who are close to them than to strangers?

Now you should know that is because they seem for the moment to know certain aspects of the person's life,but in reality that doesn't matter. What they do at the moment is that they develop a deep connection with the individual in order to have a glimpse of our experiences we are dealing with at the moment & winning their trust.Trust is something we face every single day while boarding a bus or train we have to trust the driver,for buying a loaf of bread we have to trust the shop owner but the question to ask here is:

"Who do we trust more?" 

The only answer is the person who makes us feel more secure or protected at times when we need to feel so by generating a sense of comfort or support with the help of an individual.
We tend to open up to these individuals about to our experiences who in turn tries to give a positive feedback on our ideas.Now the real deal here is how you view the situation,so this is emotionally intelligent people do they try to calculate that very situation with a broader prospective.Now remember this is the same individual who is having the very experience so to acknowledge that he needs some tools be it a pen & paper,recorder or anything that could help him view himself as another individual.

Why does this work best?

As we generally tend to be more aware of our experiences & feelings than any other individuals in the entire world.We could reevaluate our state our mind time & again by understanding what sort of experience life is giving us & how we could benefit from that in order to make a difference in the near future. As I feel we could decide on what is best for us if we know how to self-evaluate by re-evaluating our current state of mind.

If anyone has read about the time when Thomas Edison’s factory burned to the ground in 1914, destroying one-of-a-kind prototypes and causing $23 million in damage, Edison’s response was simple:

"Thank goodness all our mistakes were burned up. Now we can start fresh again."

Edison’s reaction is the epitome of mental toughness—seeing opportunity and taking action when things look bleak.

Now although might look hard to think that way in certain situation but we nobody was born perfect & in order to attain that level of perfection we can always train our mind to think that way by the process of self-evaluation as I mentioned earlier.

What accessories does one need to achieve that?

A keen desire for self-improvement!

Cultivating confidence,cutting out toxic people,saying "No"when the situation demands it,acknowledging the fact that fear is just a state of mind & one can easily overcome it,embracing failure as I had mentioned earlier but knows how to benefit from it rather than beating themselves up,being flexible in their decisions,keeping their judgement to themselves-I feel that the quality of judgement is a part of the human trait & could be very useful if you know how to benefit from it,taking care of their health with proper diet & exercises,they lead a disciplined life-getting 7 or 8 hours of sleep & dealing with their addictions be it caffeine intake,porn or something else.

Being positive isn't hard it all comes down to changing your perspective in light of the situation & if you have spent a single moment without having think that life is coming to an end then you  do deserve to lead a better life. Decode your emotions & embrace yourself today! 

I wish to end with the lines from one of my favorite poet that might be of help people in difficult times:

"It matters not how strait the gate, 

      How charged with punishments the scroll, 

I am the master of my fate, 

      I am the captain of my soul. "

                 WILLIAM ERNEST HENLEY

Rudra SEN                                                        

15.07.16